7 Ways to Avoid God.
I think of myself as an average person. ˙I don't hate God. As far as I know
He has done me no harm. But I do find it difficult to avoid God.
I am not an atheist. I am an agnostic. If there is a God I don't want to
know Him. ˙I ˙prefer to live my own life. ˙The last thing I want is for God
to get in my way. So I have set out a personal seven-point plan to˙avoid Him.
˙With Bibles on display in bookstores, ˙and churches ˙on almost every street
corner, my task has not been easy. ˙But here is my procedure:
STEP ONE: ˙I sleep Sunday mornings. ˙I ˙personally don't find "sleeping in"
˙that easy. ˙I have the bad habit of waking early, ˙even on Sunday. But ˙I
˙have˙solved the problem. ˙I˙told my doctor ˙I was˙having˙a difficult time
sleeping and he gave me some˙pills.˙˙About midnight on Saturday ˙I ˙swallow
˙two pills and am good until eleven o'clock˙Sunday morning, which conveniently
is too late to go to church.
STEP TWO: ˙˙As a traveling man I keep hotel and motel dresser˙drawers
closed. ˙In many hotels and motels today a Bible will jump out at you if you
open a drawer. I˙enter my room,˙hang up my suitbag and leave my other things
in my open suitcase. ˙I˙carry an off-color paperback with me˙so if there is
nothing to do in town at least ˙I˙can read myself to sleep. ˙By the way, ˙I
don't accept literature from strangers. ˙When offered literature I politely
tell people I am too busy to read it.
STEP THREE: ˙I˙carefully choose my radio stations. ˙Many cities˙carry
twenty-four-hour ˙religious stations. ˙Some of their music is good but you
must be wary because they may be skillfully concealing a sharp hook. Right
while enjoying a fine recording, ˙some preacher breaks in to tell you that you
are a sinner and need God. I am on to their tricks, so now I dial a station
that is really rocking and rolling and feel˙reasonably safe.
STEP ˙FOUR: ˙I ˙avoid Christian businessmen. ˙In fact,˙I˙am a˙church
member. ˙I˙seldom attend,˙but my membership has given me˙many˙good
business˙contacts.˙˙But one must be careful. ˙I˙have˙discovered a
fanatical˙brand of businessmen who would rather talk to you about˙God then
about gold. ˙I don't question their sincerity, ˙but it takes money to feed a
˙family, ˙and that is my first concern. ˙When a˙Christian businessman invites
me to church or for Bible study, I˙usually back cut with, "I have a splitting
headache" (that sounds better than a hangover) "and just can't make it
STEP FIVE: ˙I create my own gods. I have a list of things I˙would like to
do but never have time to get done. So Sunday I play around with the most
attractive items on my list. I have come to feel that that is what Sunday ˙is
for. ˙Every person should have a hobby and I use Sundays˙to spend time on my
hobbies and to do my thing.
STEP SIX: I see to it that I am "master of my fate." It is my privilege to
choose to believe in God or to choose not to believe. ˙I˙accept the old Roman
idea˙that death ends everything. ˙This˙makes the˙whole business of escaping
God a lot easier. ˙It allows one to sing with ˙the freedom of a bird, "Eat,
drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die."
STEP SEVEN: I can always kill myself. This I call my desperate step. I
don't really advocate it and frankly, ˙I˙am chicken. ˙But˙I know it happens
˙many times a day. ˙Self-destruction is˙a˙way˙of˙escape. However, it leaves
me a little cold. Questions pop into my mind. Is it a copout from life? ˙Is
it really escape? ˙Does one avoid God in this way or is death the solemn usher
that leads me into the presence of God?
Now that I have answered questions on what I can do to avoid God I ˙find
myself faced with an even greater question. If there is a Supreme Being who
loves me, why should I try to avoid Him? Is my attempt to hide from God
˙inconceivable conceit? ˙Would I not be wiser and happier to accept His ˙love?
˙Is it not the fool who says in his heart "There is no God?" Why ˙run from God?
˙His invitation is pretty inviting for a man who ˙is tired of running: "Come
unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest"
After ˙running for so long I gave God my worries and accepted His ˙rest. I
found it so easy. ˙I just said, "Jesus, ˙You please take my sin and I will
take Your salvation." ˙God and I made the trade and I am no longer running, I
am resting in His salvation. I have thrown my list away. If you will do what
I did, you won't need your list either. ˙"And it shall come to pass, that
whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved" (Acts 2:21).