EPA SEEKS BAN ON BACKYARD BARBECUES
===================================
   A proposal "going  through  final  review at the Environmental
Protection Agency and the White House calls for a ban on the  use
of  charcoal  or gas grills for outdoor cooking."  (WWN, 7/22/97)
An Associated Press article  backs the claim:  "...barbecuing has
become a smouldering target in the sizzling debate  over  whether
to   clamp  down  further  on  air  pollution...   'Some  federal
officials are proposing restrictions  on  the use of charcoal and
gas grills used for cooking...'"
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   Oppressed Wives Demand: "Husbands Must Be Castrated."
   -----------------------------------------------------
   Oppressed womyn of America, already abused by sex attacks from
space aliens (CN 10.66),  are  also  having  to  endure  cheating
husbands.   So they are striking a blow for sisterhood by issuing
this ultimatum to  philandering  husbands:  "Either it's divorce,
or it's chemical castration."  And, according to WWN, hundreds of
married men are now going to doctors for castration  rather  than
face  divorce.   Some  womyn  are  even  insisting on pre-nuptial
agreements  in  which  the   future  husbands  promise  "to  have
themselves chemically castrated if ever caught in  an  adulterous
affair." (WWN, 7/22/97)
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   CIA Detaining 3-Year-Old Psychic Girl?
   --------------------------------------
   Supposedly,  the  CIA is holding a 3-year-old psychic girl and
intensely  questioning  her.    Little  Betty  Runcet  reportedly
predicted the OKC bombing, says WWN (7/22/97).   But  if  she  is
3-years-old now, she would have been 1-year old in 1995, when the
OKC  tragedy  occurred:   so  how  does  a 1-year-old express her
prediction about an imminent terrorist attack?  Yet Brad Culdaur,
who says he  is  a  former  CIA  agent,  insists  that it's true.
Future predictions by the "amazing" 3-year-old include...
   ** 8/22/97 -- a nuclear disaster in southwestern U.S.
   ** 12/19/97 -- terrorists bomb Washington, DC
   ** 1/12/98 -- in Europe, a major assassination.
We'll see.
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   Alleged Love Child of JFK To Tour College Campuses
   --------------------------------------------------
   Weekly World News  (WWN),  in  the  past,  has  reported  that
President  John F. Kennedy is still alive.  Supposedly he is more
or less a  vegetable.   Now,  reportedly,  Elizabeth Mortenson is
claiming to be the daughter  of  JFK  and  Marilyn  Monroe.   Ms.
Mortenson reportedly "is planning a fall speaking tour of college
campuses  in  which she will tell her life story in the hope that
JFK will catch wind of her crusade and go public..."  Coming soon
to a college near you.
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   North Koreans Turn To Cannibalism
   ---------------------------------
   North Korea *is* having  problems  with  food shortages at the
moment.  But according to an article in WWN, many  North  Koreans
are  so  bad  off  they  are  digging up corpses and eating them.
Reportedly,  some  are  even   committing  murder  to  keep  from
starving.
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   Troubled Teens Dying From Cow Manure Sniffing
   ---------------------------------------------
   Latest craze among teens is reportedly sniffing cow manure  to
get  high.   Methane  gas  released  from  decaying "cow pies" is
supposedly intoxicating.  Ms. Tammi  Factos, president of Mothers
Against  Manure,  charges  that  "manure  sniffing  has   reached
epidemic  proportions."   (Sure, what do you expect, now that the
kids  can't  get  marijuana?)   Dangers  include  permanent brain
damage and even death.
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(Source for the preceding has been "The Weekly World News" (WWN),
available at fine grocery  stores  everywhere.  Due to the nature
of  the  source,  readers  are  advised   to   take   that   into
consideration when they evaluate this issue of CN.)

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